I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
it glows. i had to have it.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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