the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize
