so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I was so drunk last night that I went into my 15 year old sisters room to have her peer edit the drunk texts I was sending to my ex.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
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