I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
