If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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