whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Everything about him screamed your future.
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
It's not like I'm never gonna put out again. I'm a sure thing. I promise.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
Randomize
