I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
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