she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Randomize
