you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
Nothing says "You're all grown up now" like setting up your 401k with shitty underwear.
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize