Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
dude she was givin me head and stops and looks up at me and tells me she loves me, then goes ''alright now cum in my mouth''.... pretty sure shes the one
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
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