cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
My nipple piercings are like the guardrails, that's why they feel so safe.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
Randomize
