chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
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