I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Randomize