im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
just ask for directions from a guy with a penis drawn on his window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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