he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
