So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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