I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
My heart stopped for a sec, but I snorted what I believe was cocaine off the floor, and I'm back in the fight
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I came so hard my ears popped.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
