Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You were sitting on the filthy kitchen floor eating a packet of grated cheese, and you were crying because you couldn't find any cheese.. I'd say our party was a success.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
he said he'd buy me TWO burritos if I took my shirt off
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
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