She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I want to fling myself into the sun
I supernannyed him into submission
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize
