he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
giving a blow job on a jetski isn't as easy as it sounds.
I've decided that life's journeys are more fun when your moral compass hangs in front of you and swings with each step
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
Sorry i ignored you for so long. I think my vibrator is broken.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize