Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
