This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
I think as far as last words to bitter ex girlfriends go, "enjoy that staph infection youre about to get in your uterus" is right up there with the best
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Randomize
