wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
that would combine my 3 fave things. christmas funfetti and paul simon
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
My roommate is trying to suck beer out of the rug.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
i now understand why vodka
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
