Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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