Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
Randomize
