it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Slowly realizing that my only incentive to bathe is shower beer
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I can count on one hand the number of good things that happened over the past year.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
