its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
took out my tampon, fucked him, and put a new one back in all before he realized I was on my period. beat that one bitch.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Seriously, come get him. He's not even a person anymore. He's a loud, drunk, cock-blocking wrecking ball.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
no dude he sent me cemetery flowers, i know it. they are half dried out roses in the shape of a cross, seriously. and he is not religious. so he robbed a freaking grave site for me. am i like an accessory to grave robbing now??
damnit this is what you get for dating guys with neck tattoos
Randomize