Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The best was having to tell my 16y/o cuz and her bf that we could see him fingering her in the inner tube. Lucky for them, I'm the cool cousin... and was river-level fuckedup.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
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