sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
he threw an umbrella that he ripped out of the table at the fence like he was harpooning a whale while the owner of the bar was outside then tried to blame it on an old man...
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
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