ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I worked with a girl tonight that recognized me solely from a keg stand she witnessed me do sophmore year. Needless to say this made my night
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Randomize