I think I'm maturing; i was gonna watch porn and then take a nap but i motivated myself to put my laundry in first.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
Oh I also wanted to thank you for leaving your list of porn sites on the coffee table. Very entertaining.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I just saw a black chick with an eyepatch. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity.
Got cut off last night cuz this chick had her hands down my shorts and was blatantly playing with my dick while I was trying to order. apparently that's "frowned upon"
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
