your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Dude, the chicks a procotolgy intern. Don't cheat on her. She knows where it hurts the most.
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
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