I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
Randomize