think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
He is such a slut. More and more my type.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
are you still alive?
no.
i'll cry at your funeral. and leave a burrito by your tombstone
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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