im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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