I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
you asked my brother if you could eat the cupcake that you found. you were showing him a baked potato
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
I have post one night stand depression
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
