call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
For the first time in my 26 years of life, I'm washing jizz out of my ponytail.... High five yourself later.
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
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