you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
WHY AM I THE ONLY ONE CONCERNED ABOUT THE SEAGULL IN THE OVEN
i saw way too much penis for that to have been a funeral
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
Every Easter every single one the baby Jesus butt plug comes up
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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