I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
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