when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
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