No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
Randomize
