currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize