dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
Wellp yesterday was spent absurdly hungover and today was spent in planned parenthood so I hope that's not an indication of the year to come
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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