I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
i have a wrist watched drawn on my wrist that it says shot o clock
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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