I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I would fuck him just for his dog
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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