sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
I was stretching naked in the middle of my room singing "Somewhere Over the Rainbow", apparently this is what I do when I'm high and the wifi goes out
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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