Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
community service is like the breakfast club... except we're all the criminal.
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
