we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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