as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
Turns out, it's impolite to repeatedly request Seal "Kiss From a Rose" at bars
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
