Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
I can't believe you guys got into a sword fight over a chicken nugget
Oh, so that's where all the scratches came from...
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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